God Said, 'Not Yet'

I used to look at everything I wanted to do in life through the filtered eyes of a naive young girl, who thought the world was her oyster.  All metaphors aside, the world is not meant to be my oyster, or mine in any capacity.  God did not call me to embrace worldly things, money, or fame.  He did not call me to be in front of the world as a pillar of idolization.  God called me for something greater, so much greater.  I just didn't know what that was at the time.

As I grew older, my ambitions got larger.  One thing that was always at the forefront of my goals, though, was photography.  I had the love as a child with polaroids and disposable cameras, as a teen with Nikon Coolpix and other digital cameras, and I had it as a college student working for the yearbook staff.  I always loved fashion, brides in glamourous dresses, and luxurious wedding ceremonies.  So what did I do with that?  I started a photography business.  But instead of looking inward and through my faith to see what my next steps needed to be, I just focused on money.  

I tried everything to get leads, inquiries, bookings, and I took everything that came my way.  Each session, whether I liked it or not, lead to more cash flow, which allowed me to build a side business.  I started putting the money into a high-interest savings account, and I continued on the way I was going.  

Within ten years, I had burnt myself out.

I was doing everything for the wrong reasons, and I was not focusing on God's voice, or paying attention to what my purpose was supposed to be with my gifts.  I didn't even look at them at the time with the eyes of a faith-driven woman.  

I looked at my gifts as talents, not blessings.  

It wasn't until I started to struggle in my marriage and with fertility, that I started to really look at my life and see gaps or holes where there once stood a solid understanding.  I started to see that I had, over time, morphed my way of looking at things from the eyes of an eager-to-get-started young woman to a busy-hard-working woman.  

All that mattered before that point was surviving, I wasn't really living.  When I finally realized this, everything changed.  

Business was hard and had stalled, but not because I was being punished by God for losing my way.  It had stalled because I was fighting my purpose.  I was fighting the reason God gave me my gifts, my entire calling in this life.  I was choosing money and hustle over praise and worship.  I wasn't going to church intentionally anymore, in fact - I stopped going for a long time.  I wasn't looking for God in my daily life, or turning to Him at all unless I needed help.  But the help I wanted was not to glorify Him, it was to propel my business further… A business that was already running me ragged and making me feel like I was spending all my time on something that I wasn't even enjoying anymore.

So, while struggling for a child, I changed my ways.  I found my way back to Jesus.  I picked up my devotional again.  I started being more selective with the type of sessions I accepted.  I was even more selective with whom I was spending my time with or whom I was putting my energy into.  Over time, we were blessed with our son, and during that pregnancy my view was clear: I needed to rebrand the entire business.  I didn't just need to be selective, I needed to reframe my mindset on why I was doing this and where it was heading, and how that would please the Lord.  I needed to come full-circle with what my purpose truly was and how I could fulfill that promise to God.

After the rebrand, I stopped photographing lifestyle sessions, unless they were holiday mini sessions.  I stopped accepting every inquiry.  Instead, I was honest about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do.  I became clearly focused on God and put blinders around me to protect my hard-working drive from saying yes to anything that didn't fit the new Shique brand.  But it's what happened next that's so miraculous.

God praised my vision.  He blessed my efforts.  He rewarded my worship.  He gave me back ten-fold what I lost.  And now, I've got eleven weddings on the books to come, and I'm attending fashion weeks and working alongside designers, but doing so in a faith-driven business model.  I may not always get to be so selective about the types of content I shoot at fashion shows, but I can be selective over what goes on my public portfolio and on my business media.  And as long as I keep that lens focused on Him, He will keep blessing the work I do, so long as it spreads His word.  

Before, what I interpreted as God saying "not this" was actually Him saying "not yet".  I just needed the right perspective, and the right heart.

So if you’re navigating a similar season — in business, motherhood, or faith — know that waiting doesn’t mean He said no. Sometimes, it just means not yet. He may be preparing your heart for something greater than you can see right now.

I pray this encourages you today. And if you're looking to work with a photographer who creates with purpose and praises with her lens, I’d be honored to hear your story.